Dear so and so long…

Dear so and so long…

It’s hardly been 2 days since

and

the thought of your face

buried between someone else’s thighs

Makes me cringe a little

To imagine your mouth

Sucking at someone else’s skin

Burns my insides raw

And turns my stomach

I can’t stand the thought

Of never

Really knowing who you are

You never gave me that chance

It was all too short

Not long enough for you to know

How to spell my last name

And whatever it was

It wasn’t

When it was cut off

Cut away and

I only have a handful of memories

Of an us that never was

You were never mine

You were never going to be

Because you never intended to

You never gave me yourself

Even a little at a time

You never wanted to

You were never open enough

To give me anything of you

But you gave me back a piece of myself

Though you didn’t mean to

You probably don’t even know that you did

You made me feel beautiful again

Desired again

Desireable

Your wanting hands

Full with my breasts

Your lips pressed against my lips

In promissory words

Unspoken

Your flesh for my flesh

We said

You pulled away from me 

So soon

I might have given you my heart

You might have taken it

Here

Still

I am

My heart is mine

My heart in hand

Battered a little

Beaten perhaps

But a bruised heart always heals

And so will my bruised ego

I will take from this

However brief

Entanglement

The good

The passion

The words you shouldn’t have spoken

The ones you said you did not mean

The ones that you took back

So here they are

My 339 words

Just 339

To stand-alone as

A record of whatever it was

That it wasn’t

We barely had

Because we barely had a chance

You may have stolen yourself away

But know that

What you gave me back

You cannot take away with your absence

Ever.

And I am thankful for that.

Wendy M. June 1/2010

Happy Friday Music V

In spite of all the public drama that has transpired recently and feeling soured about the social sites (anti-social) on the net, I’m posting my Friday song. Why? Because I fucking love music and I love sharing it. It’s therapeutic and inspiring in the way that it accompanies emotion like a soundtrack. I can associate many a great song/album/artist to a period in my life. I record my own history to it.

This Friday’s song is from a Canadian songstress, Julie Doiron. She’s a Juno winning artist with a very laid back sound. Though I may use the term “laid back” I don’t mean to imply that her music sounds as if there was an ambivalent approach to it, in fact, quite the opposite. I say laid back meaning the sound itself, the soothing vocals, her breathiness, simple guitar and uncomplicated beat, has something casual about it, as if it knows it was made to be heard and it simply accepts that for what it is.

We’re talking pared down, basic musicianship here. There is a small cast in her line-up. Most of her stuff consists of a guitar, drums and vocals which is rare these days. Artists often dress up the music with complicated mixes of the usual guitar, drum, bass but add to it horns, strings etc, an endless list of possibilities really. Experimentation with sound combinations seems to be a fad in modern music, which is not a complaint, believe me, but it’s a nice break in all the commotion to hear distinct instruments, standing alone in a song. And doing it well.

I take nothing away from her manipulation of the basic instrumentation she employs. Though it stands bare boned as a three-piece most times, it is simplicity that is the most difficult kind of music to make. It’s no surprise she’s an award winner.

Hailing from Moncton New Brunswick, Julie came onto the music scene originally with an indie hero Eric’s Trip in the 1990’s. They broke up in 1996 but have reunited more recently to tour. The song I’m posting is not off of her newest album, “I can wonder what you did with your day” but it is the first song that made me fall in love with her music.

It’s from the Polaris Prize short listed album “Woke Myself Up”. The song is called “No More” and is a fitting statement to end my High School-like drama filled week. It’s one of those songs that you want to sing along to. The lyrics are easy enough to learn, the message is relatable and the rhythm has bounce to it. The video is a rather cute encapsulation of the lyrics and only adds to her sweet irresistability. 

So bid a great big adieu to a shitty partner, a shitty day, a shitty week or a shitty situation with this one. Turn it up, give it a few listens if you want. You might need it. It’s a picture tearing, putting your foot down couple of minutes that you won’t regret taking. You’ll still want to be friends afterwards with this one. It’s too nice not to be.

No More” Julie Doiron